Unfortunately, that is not a typing error, I did not miss a zero from day ten, I am back on day one. I had stopped drinking for nine days, and was actually physically experiencing my body getting detoxed. Nevertheless, I just decided on a whim, at tea time yesterday, to give in to my denial. I shared a bottle of wine with my husband, and true to my previous form, we then opened and drank another two. This morning, I am obviously feeling the negative effects physically, but also I feel so depressed about my lack of will power and commitment.
The stupid decision has only reinforced the reasons why I want to quit alcohol, and I worry now whether I will ever achieve this. My concerns are supported by a study I came across, by the University of Sussex, which identified a positive correlation between the inability to abstain from drinking and the number of times the person has attempted to abstain previously. That is ‘sobering’, as it suggests that every time I try and fail to give up alcohol it becomes progressively more difficult to stop! This is apparently because repeated detoxifications from alcohol reduce the grey matter of the Prefrontal Cortex in the brain, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for controlling the desire for alcohol. The study recommends that all resources should be made available and used, in order to achieve one successful attempt to stop drinking, as relapses make it more difficult to stop in the future.
From today I do not drink alcohol. I will make staying sober my top priority, and therefore I will not continue with the diet, as this may get in the way of my alcohol free objective. This time I WILL successfully give up alcohol!
Unique Brain Areas Associatedwith Abstinence Control are Damaged in Multiply Detoxified Alcoholics.
Biological Psychiatry, 70 (2011), pp. 545-552